Last Thursday, our furniture arrived. It’s taken me until now to be calm enough to write about it. I took the dogs into kennels first thing (they loved it), only to get a phone all just as I arrived, saying there were 3 vans with only drivers and no-one from the removal firm. The drivers were going to unload everything onto the grass and get off as soon as they could as they had other jobs to go to! Thursday was, of course, the only day it’s rained so far.

By the time I got back, they had managed to get one van stuck in the grass and were unloading everything in a bid to get to the piano and relieve the weight so they could get the van unstuck. The first horror was seeing the piano in the back of this van with no protection around it whatsoever. The second horror was seeing the pile of boxes in the living room (presumably only because it was raining, otherwise they would have been outside), just where we needed the heavy bureau to go. Things were about to get worse.

The van drivers had been told that there would be a team of people here to help them unload and I thought we had hired a removal company. We are an hour ahead, here, so no chance of getting hold of anyone in the office at the time. For whatever reason, the drivers had decid they would no longer unload stuff into the house (maybe because we were getting a bit cluttered by the time they had finally got the piano in) and were going to unload into the little barn instead. So, everything started getting unloaded into the little barn what I was leaving more frantic messages on the firm’s answer phone and sending snottograms.

Then, I saw the antique chest of drawers, also with no protection around it. At this pint, I grabbed the camera and started taking photos. Of all our furniture, only two things had been wrapped properly, then the lead driver drops a bombshell and said that the two lads from the company (one was the owner) who were supposed to be wrapping furniture and supervising the loading on Tuesday had gone out and got plastered instead! Hardly surprising that no-one had turned up/ been sent to deal with the  on-site mess.

I finally got hold of the admin woman who said they had wrapped the furniture and that the drivers were supposed to unload and put everything where we wanted it to be – by this time,they were in the middle of unloading van number 3, so were hardly likely to take everything out of the barn and start again, were they? She assured me beyond any doubt in her mind that everything would have been packed properly until I said I was sending her some photos. At that point, the boss came on the phone, slightly too late as I was incandescent by this time and told him I didn’t care if he had to hire a helicopter and land it in next door’s field, I wanted someone here, now. He told me I had purchased a packing service – great packing, huh – but they “don’t wrap Ikea furniture” and that I was being rude! Bloody cheek!

Once they had gone, I surveyed the damage. Two chunks out of the piano, serious scratches on just about everything else. Two standard lamps with the bases completely smashed (they were difficult to pack, apparently, but to shatter the concrete in the bottom of them both they must have been seriously mishandled), the leg from a chest of drawers hanging off, dints in chair arms (are Parker Knoll part of Ikea?), boxes marked fragile with boxes of books stacked on top of them… The list goes on.

I sent the photos on Friday and then posted a couple of scathing reviews on various feedback sites. Haven’t heard anything since, but I will be pursuing it. Watch this space!

Yesterday, our lovely, helpful neighbour Philippe, came round with his brother-in-law and the tractor. He moved the bath from the other barn into the upstairs bathroom via a bedroom window, thanks to brute strength, a pallet and the tractor. Not satisfied that he’d made the most use out of his brother-in-law, he then proceeded to shift 3 pallet-loads of boxes from the little barn to upstairs using same said tractor and bedroom window. Honestly don’t know what we would do without him.

In the interim, I have managed to fix the kitchen light switch, but not the one for the hall and landing lights and in the process have knocked out the lights in the downstairs bathroom and the loo. On the positive side, there is a new cooker arriving one day next week to replace the ancient monster. We will need a 30amp socket putting in, so whilst the electrician is here I’m hoping he can fix the light in the loo ☺.